Infidelity causes more break ups than just about any other reason. If you are dealing with infidelity in your relationship, it can feel like a bomb has gone off in your hearts. "I can never trust him/her again" is one of the strongest responses.
This demonstrates how essential trust is to love and intimacy. When trust has been broken by infidelity, we often feel (at least for a while) that there's little hope of trusting again. Even if there is a lot we love about our partner, we don't see how we can be intimate and close with them again after such a betrayal.
So in order for the relationship to continue, trust needs to be restored. Fortunately, it can be, and it can start to happen in just minutes. Here's how:
A Deep Apology. There are different kinds of apologies, and almost no one understands this. There are surface apologies, where you say Im sorry almost because it is expected. There are sincere apologies, where you really mean it. And then there are what could be called Deep or True Apologies.
To begin to restore the trust in your relationship, a deep apology is required. Deep apologies are much more that just saying I'm sorry, even if you really mean it.
Deep apologies have several different steps involved in them before you actually say "I'm sorry." One important step is to empathize with your mate by mirroring the emotional pain you caused by cheating on them. You need to make your mate feel deeply understood to get to deeper levels of forgiveness.
There are a few more steps to a deep apology, but dont just say Im sorry and expect things to go back to the way they were. A good apology has as much to do with listening as it does with what you have to say.
If you are the one who was cheated on, and you want to get past the infidelity, there are also ways you can ask your mate to fess up and tell you how they think it made you feel. This will help you begin to let go of the hurt feelings. Again, there is more to all of this, but you can get past infidelity and save your relationship or marriage if you use some Emotional Intelligence to help restore the broken trust.
This demonstrates how essential trust is to love and intimacy. When trust has been broken by infidelity, we often feel (at least for a while) that there's little hope of trusting again. Even if there is a lot we love about our partner, we don't see how we can be intimate and close with them again after such a betrayal.
So in order for the relationship to continue, trust needs to be restored. Fortunately, it can be, and it can start to happen in just minutes. Here's how:
A Deep Apology. There are different kinds of apologies, and almost no one understands this. There are surface apologies, where you say Im sorry almost because it is expected. There are sincere apologies, where you really mean it. And then there are what could be called Deep or True Apologies.
To begin to restore the trust in your relationship, a deep apology is required. Deep apologies are much more that just saying I'm sorry, even if you really mean it.
Deep apologies have several different steps involved in them before you actually say "I'm sorry." One important step is to empathize with your mate by mirroring the emotional pain you caused by cheating on them. You need to make your mate feel deeply understood to get to deeper levels of forgiveness.
There are a few more steps to a deep apology, but dont just say Im sorry and expect things to go back to the way they were. A good apology has as much to do with listening as it does with what you have to say.
If you are the one who was cheated on, and you want to get past the infidelity, there are also ways you can ask your mate to fess up and tell you how they think it made you feel. This will help you begin to let go of the hurt feelings. Again, there is more to all of this, but you can get past infidelity and save your relationship or marriage if you use some Emotional Intelligence to help restore the broken trust.
About the Author:
You can learn a seven step reconnect strategy to restore trust and get your ex back in a book about Get Your Love Back Now. John Laney teaches relationship skills and you can get a free course here on Love Relationship Advice Skills.
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