Tuesday, January 13, 2009

To Get Over a Relationship Or Rekindling It?

By Hilda Laine

There are times a person goes through a breakup with his or her partner and wonders if the breakup is meant to be forever or if there's a chance of getting back together with the ex-partner. This is true because many times breakups happen prematurely and separation doesn't always end one person's love for another.

Every relationship that has ever ended has, of course, ended in a breakup. I know this is a very oversimplified statement. However the point is, not every breakup has ended a relationship. Often a breakup leaves one or both of the couple wondering if it would be best to try to get back together again.

Is This Really The End?

It is often happens that one of the partners who has experienced a breakup goes through the following days sad and wishing the whole thing had never occurred. It often happens at the same time, the other partner is going around also wishing the whole thing had never happened. Such a couple may be better served by contacting one another than by trying to adjust to a permanent breakup.

The only way to really find out if the other partner also regrets the breakup is to contact that partner. In most instances it is quite an awkward chore to contact a person you've recently claimed you never wanted to see again!

Approaching Your Ex

This most difficult task of trying to find out if your ex partner is interested in getting back together can only be done properly by contacting this person yourself. Trying to send a mutual friend to ask your ex-partner how he or she feels about getting back together would be the worst thing you could do.

It would be best to phone the ex-partner. This is the most honest and upfront way to go about re-initiating contact. Tell him or her you're feeling very down and you very much regret what has happened. Say that you think that the breakup is very wrong for you and you're wondering if he or she feels the same way.

A Breakup or a Disagreement?

Certainly, this contact will tell the story. If you call and leave a message on a machine two or three times and get no reply, or you talk to your ex and get nowhere, it is probably time to move on. Things will get better in time without him or her and you'll know your life will ultimately be better without this person. On the other hand, you may find your ex was trying to find a way to get back together with you.

It is very unusual a person finds his or her life's partner in the first relationship. It can happen, but it is unusual. Some studies say a person has as many as seven relationships before he or she finds the one that works out. So after breaking up, it is very important to figure out if this breakup is one that is making you realize you have found the person you can not be without, or if it is just one more step toward finding the right person.

It's hard to tell whether a breakup was really a breakup or just a quarrel. However, by re-initiating contact with a person you have just broken up with, you may find the other partner is just as headed-over-heels in love with you as you are with him or her. Therefore, though it's always awkward contacting the person you have just broken up with, maybe you'll find a great relationship would have gone to waste if you didn't.

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