Saturday, January 10, 2009

Poems I wrote sometime after 1995

By LJ James

POEMS I WROTE SOMETIME AFTER 1995 [I:0:T]

I have been asked recently if I have ever written any Poetry . I had said No at first. Then I remembered that some time back after 1995 after a break up with a Girl that I had lived with for a while. (Probably the only real relationship of my life, So Far) I wrote what I would call "two poems"!

The first I wrote right after the break up. I guess I was at the point I was just trying show I was a hardcore man and the break up did not effect me. So I was trying to be funny about the whole thing.

The second I wrote years later after my Dog "Mutely Junior" was killed. Juniors Mother had been the Girl I had lived withs Dog named "Riff Raff", and his Father was named "Mutely" He had been my Fathers dog . When me and the girl broke up, Junior was still only a puppy about six months old and he was by my side the whole time. He was like my Son. The girl I had dated had kids that I helped take care of while I lived there and I do not think it could have been much harder leaving the kids had they been my own flesh and blood.

I do not fall in love easy and my life has always been about being a Biker and I have often said the last thing I want to do is anything like getting married and having kids. I have always said I want something more from life. So I found it very odd and disconcerting that I found myself so happy living with this Girl playing the roll of Father to her kids ! I guess what we tell ourselves we want and what you really want can be two totally different things! I was young then and as I look back now I can remember I did not keep it much of a secret that I wanted more from life and I can only assume that was a big part of why we broke up.

After the Break up I lived in a Cabin in the woods in upstate NY in a small town for about 4 years. Junior was almost always by my side and he and I enjoyed many adventures during that time. As much as I loved my life in the Cabin. I once again found myself wanting more from life. So I moved to Long Island NY. I was getting myself set up in yet another new life. During this time while I got my new life in order, I had left Junior with my Father to be take care of . One night my Father let him out and Junior ran off . A few days later Junior was found by the Train tracks. He had been hit by a Train and was dead. It was no ones fault. Junior had always loved fast to run threw the woods. It was part of who he was. When I heard about Juniors death I wrote the Second poem. Junior was the last part of what I often think of as a different life I once lived. With Junior gone it was at that point that I truly felt the break up.

These Poems are not of me now but of a Me I once was or maybe a Me I could have been. I believe I have now found my place in the world and I am almost positive I am happy. So I will post these poems for you all to read! Some may say these poems will make me look weak. To them I say always remember looks can be deceiving !!!

I hope you enjoy the poems. LJ James

Love?

I told you Id walk a Million Miles for you. You said Please do.

I told you I would clime the highest Mountain for you. You said I hope you fall off.

I told you I would swim the oceans for your Love . You said I hope you Drown.

I told you my heart was yours You said let me see it.

I told you I would die for you. You said prove it!!!

Sweet Heart I'm starting to get the feeling you don't Love Me !!!! By L.J. James

----------------------------------------------------------- Home or Lost

I stand here alone thinking of a place gone Past. Never thinking that I have been away so long.

Its a strange feeling to know your home is no longer yours but now some others.

I can't go back, but I still wonder if I would.

I was always cold on that hill but my heart was warm.

My Dog was born there but now he too is gone Killed in the Night by a train going some where I have never been.

My heart got broke but I did not cry.

I though I was happy before I really was. Now I wonder can I be again.

My heart calls out for me to follow the sun. But I don't remember where it is that I was going before I stopped here

Am I happy here, I think so but I've been wrong before! By L.J. James AmericanBikerX.com

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