<br />
As we continued to grow, we just accepted things as they were and continued to soak everything up like little sponges. And that has become the basis of who we are today. Even though we don't ever think of it, we are a product of our upbringing, and the truth is that our marriages today are also affected by this. Most of the time we're never even aware of it.<br />
<br />
At the beginning of my marriage, I considered fighting to be the same as getting mad and holding grudges. I would bang things and slam doors. My husband came from a family where screaming was the way to win a fight. So for years, each of our arguments consisted of me slamming and banging, and him screaming, and neither of us realized we were just doing it as we had seen our parents do it. Once we recognized the pattern, we began to work through the issues and correct them.<br />
<br />
Both my husband I had always disliked the way our respective parents had dealt with conflict. But lo and behold, there we were several years later, doing exactly the same thing we had seen and experienced growing up. He and I eventually agreed that this was not a proper way to resolve conflicts, so we committed to working to find better solutions.<br />
<br />
You first must accept problems and conflicts to be true before you can change them. Once you acknowledge the patterns, then you must create your own patterns. Taking responsibility for your role in the relationship is a must if there is to be a workable solution found.</div><div class='uawresource'><div style='font-style:italic;' class='uawabout'><br />
About the Author:<br />
</div><div class='uawlinks'>If your find yourself in need of a <a href="http://www.lightyourfire.com">marriage counselor</a>, then do yourself and your family a favor and click over to www.LightYourFire.com. There you'll find discussions and solutions you may not have considered. The specialists there are highly regarded across the nation for their success in repairing <a href="http://www.lightyourfire.com">marital problems</a>. </div><br />
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