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What is Oppositional Defiance Disorder?<br />
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Best to start with what it looks like. These kids don't cope well, tempers easily and frequently flare. They resent authority figures, forcefully boss other children around, and are often annoyed and frustrated. Blaming everyone but themselves for situations they've created. They also tend to pick friends who also have these characteristics, which tend to be angry, pouting teens.<br />
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There is very little chance of being logical with ODD kiddos because of their irrationality, so they always feel they are left wanting. But when you give them what they say they want (like your attention), they are quick to tell you to back off. Sadly, they are hard ones to like, which adds to parental guilt because you know you love them but can't stand to be in the same room/house with them. And any outside social interactions involving the out of control child are embarrassing.<br />
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I understand this because I have a few children that fall into this camp. The emotions of raising an ODD kid are difficult to handle.<br />
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Where did the Oppositional Defiance Disorder come from?<br />
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ODD is not a self-esteem issue; it's a problem solving issue. In a nutshell, they don't know how to solve a problem, so they try to gain control by bullying, screaming, negotiating, or bargaining. According to Dr. Lehman, there is no evidence that self-esteem leads to compliance, and emotions are not, in and of themselves, a way for kids to cope with their problems.<br />
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Is there any ODD treatment?<br />
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Dr. Lehman says that one thing to definitely not do is to give the child a time out. A child with ODD won't use the time out to change his thinking - he'll use it to plot revenge. Parents need to change their parenting style to deal with a kid with oppositional defiance behavior. Here are 4 tips that he suggests. You can find many more in his wonderful program The Total Transformation. I just can't describe how much good its done for our family.<br />
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1. Children with ODD need structure with aggressive training that is built around how to solve the problems that trigger their defiant behavior. You need to show the child that he has a problem that has to be solved and address it as such. For example: Lying in bed after your alarm goes off won't solve your problem. It makes you late and you miss the bus. What can you do to solve your problem?<br />
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2. The focus of treatment needs to be on developing compliance and coping skills, not primarily on self-esteem. Kids get self-esteem by doing things that are hard for them. Children with ODD need strong praise and support as well as realistic rewards. A pat on the back for something they should already know how to do doesn't cut it.<br />
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3. Power struggles are a no-win situation for either of you. Select your battles with this in mind - you only are going to participate in the ones you will definitely win. Like not participating in the arguing. Now you are ready to share your expectations in an unemotional way with the understanding that compliance is the expected outcome.<br />
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4. Have a plan for managing your childs behavior. When you're in the car, know what you'll do if he acts out there. Similarly, if you're at the mall or at a friends place, have a plan for how to handle the situation - for instance, one warning then leaving. Make sure the child learns that defiance doesn't get him what he wants.<br />
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In most cases, Oppositional Defiance Disorder is not the main problem. Usually it manifests itself into occasional defiance that isn't out of control, just bothersome and distracting to the family. But if ODD treatment is not taken, it can become the main issue and even turn into Conduct Disorder, a very serious disorder that precludes anti-social characteristics and involvement in crime. So if any of this sounds familiar, it would be a good idea to start on a course of action found in the Total Transformation program. I recommend it because me and my house are proof it works!</div><div class='uawresource'><div style='font-style:italic;' class='uawabout'><br />
About the Author:<br />
</div><div class='uawlinks'>Do you have a kid that argues non-stop? Maybe they've got <a href="http://tips-for-parenting.info">Oppositional Defiant Behavior</a> also known as ODD. You don't need to live that way anymore! Go to <a href="http://tips-for-parenting.info">http://tips-for-parenting.info</a> for tons of information on ODD, ADD, ADHD, SPD and some good old parenting tips and tools. </div><br />
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