We've all heard about them, sometimes its hearsay, sometimes its first hand. But dating disasters have been a part of courting since getting to know someone became a prerequisite to having a relationship with them.
Given that when dating, you are bringing people you don't really know into your life, a disasterous time is always a possibility. This issue has existed forever, right back to the days when dating was called courting. The reason is simple, dating is a process of working out whether someone is compatible for you. So given you don't know the answer to this yet, there is a possibility you are going to spend time with someone completely inappropiate for you. If this happens it will be a dating disaster.
Fortunately, most dating disasters are pretty safe. They only cost you a bit of time and for that time you learn something about yourself. (at the very least you'll learn that you don't like certain characteristics or behaviors) Occasionally though a dating disaster can be dangerous, putting your person or property at risk. It is these dating disasters that we hear about most often.
Unfortunately, in their infamy, these legend have enough power to turn people away from looking for love and happiness.
When internet came to dating, nothing changed in regards to the dangers of dating. If you are someone who is interested in finding love, at some stage you have to meet people in real life and spend time getting to know them. The only thing the internet changed was the method of introduction.
Many people don't have the sense to understand this though. As such, when using the internet and dating sites to meet people, the following two mistakes are common:
1. You believe using the internet to meet and communicate with people is actually getting to know them. Therefore, when the real life meeting occurs, you have a false belief the potential partner is already "known" and therefore dispense with your typical early dating precautions.
2. When things go wrong, you blame the internet as the medium, rather than the fact that the person you were dating was just wrong for you. Thats where such sayings as "He must have been a freak, that's why he is on the internet" come from.
These mistakes are made more often in the "adult" side of the industry, where the emphasis is on getting into bed rather than getting to know someone. So please remember, internet dating isn't dating at all, its just an introduction service. You only start dating when you meet the person in real life.
The quicker you understand that all internet dating sites are, are a new forum to meet people, the safer your internet dating will be. So please, never let this escape your mind. Dating sites are an online yellow pages, a hi-tech newspaper personals column, or an electronic social event. Its where you meet people and get their contact information and that is where their usefulness ends.
At Dating Down Under, we put safety in dating first. How can you have a successful dating experience if it is not a safe dating experience? For this reason you'll find a plethora of tips and guidelines about safety and online dating throughout the website. Generally though, the following guidelines are essential:
1. Remember what datings sites are there to do. They put you in contact with other people looking to meet you, but nothing else.
2. Recognise that niche online dating sites attract the personality types they cater to. Only join the ones you think will attract the people you are interested in.
3. Use the communication features of dating sites to screen people before you give them your contacts. But recognise this is just a screening process, not getting to know anyone.
4. When you are ready to meet someone in the real world, apply your usual "blind date" precautions to this meeting. Those internet chat sessions were not a date, this is your first date.
5. If you are ever unsure, particularly in the early stages, put safety first.
6. When you have a bad dating experience, learn from it but don't give up. Don't forsake your long term happiness because you met one bad apple. There are plenty of good people out there.
Given that when dating, you are bringing people you don't really know into your life, a disasterous time is always a possibility. This issue has existed forever, right back to the days when dating was called courting. The reason is simple, dating is a process of working out whether someone is compatible for you. So given you don't know the answer to this yet, there is a possibility you are going to spend time with someone completely inappropiate for you. If this happens it will be a dating disaster.
Fortunately, most dating disasters are pretty safe. They only cost you a bit of time and for that time you learn something about yourself. (at the very least you'll learn that you don't like certain characteristics or behaviors) Occasionally though a dating disaster can be dangerous, putting your person or property at risk. It is these dating disasters that we hear about most often.
Unfortunately, in their infamy, these legend have enough power to turn people away from looking for love and happiness.
When internet came to dating, nothing changed in regards to the dangers of dating. If you are someone who is interested in finding love, at some stage you have to meet people in real life and spend time getting to know them. The only thing the internet changed was the method of introduction.
Many people don't have the sense to understand this though. As such, when using the internet and dating sites to meet people, the following two mistakes are common:
1. You believe using the internet to meet and communicate with people is actually getting to know them. Therefore, when the real life meeting occurs, you have a false belief the potential partner is already "known" and therefore dispense with your typical early dating precautions.
2. When things go wrong, you blame the internet as the medium, rather than the fact that the person you were dating was just wrong for you. Thats where such sayings as "He must have been a freak, that's why he is on the internet" come from.
These mistakes are made more often in the "adult" side of the industry, where the emphasis is on getting into bed rather than getting to know someone. So please remember, internet dating isn't dating at all, its just an introduction service. You only start dating when you meet the person in real life.
The quicker you understand that all internet dating sites are, are a new forum to meet people, the safer your internet dating will be. So please, never let this escape your mind. Dating sites are an online yellow pages, a hi-tech newspaper personals column, or an electronic social event. Its where you meet people and get their contact information and that is where their usefulness ends.
At Dating Down Under, we put safety in dating first. How can you have a successful dating experience if it is not a safe dating experience? For this reason you'll find a plethora of tips and guidelines about safety and online dating throughout the website. Generally though, the following guidelines are essential:
1. Remember what datings sites are there to do. They put you in contact with other people looking to meet you, but nothing else.
2. Recognise that niche online dating sites attract the personality types they cater to. Only join the ones you think will attract the people you are interested in.
3. Use the communication features of dating sites to screen people before you give them your contacts. But recognise this is just a screening process, not getting to know anyone.
4. When you are ready to meet someone in the real world, apply your usual "blind date" precautions to this meeting. Those internet chat sessions were not a date, this is your first date.
5. If you are ever unsure, particularly in the early stages, put safety first.
6. When you have a bad dating experience, learn from it but don't give up. Don't forsake your long term happiness because you met one bad apple. There are plenty of good people out there.
About the Author:
Jayde Johanssen, concerned with incidences of internet dating predators, encourages safety first with internet dating, particularly at adult dating sites
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